An audience with this consummate performer was held up for several minutes on Sunday as the Real Madrid manager, having slipped quietly into the room, smiled mischievously before sloping away for a few words with Zinedine Zidane.
It is a time-honoured trick of Mourinho’s to remind journalists how far down in his order of priorities they stand. So magnetic is his personality, even the greatest players to have worn Real’s all-white strip want to bend his ear.
The honour was hardly lost on him as he confirmed afterwards, to the likely and lasting anguish of the Premier League, that he wanted to remain in Madrid for “lots of years”.
The sound you could hear were howls of despair from Manchester United fans, who had all but anointed Mourinho as Sir Alex Ferguson’s natural successor, and from every figure in the English game who has remained so helplessly in his thrall.
Ian Holloway, the sage of Blackpool, believes he has “much to learn” from the brilliant Portuguese — if so, he should have been listening at Real’s Valdebebas training base yesterday for the privilege.
Holloway claims, innocently enough, that he simply wants be at the Nou Camp tonight for El Gran Clasico between Real Madrid and Barcelona, indubitably the hottest ticket on planet football.
Just name your sub-plot: Cristiano Ronaldo versus Lionel Messi, Mesut Ozil versus Andres Iniesta, Iker Casillas versus Victor Valdes. Mourinho could plausibly claim that the battle, which should define the Spanish season, is not about him.
Of course, though, it is; indeed, the one-on-one that dominated conversation here was himself versus Barcelona, the club he nurtured and then, in Catalan eyes, betrayed.
“These are definitely the two best teams in the world,” he says, with a relish to suggest he is not contemplating leaving Spain any time soon. “I like to play these games.
"There are games, whether because of difficulty or dimension or consequences, that I like more than others. I like the Champions League, because there a team gets knocked out and has to watch it on television, while another that gets to play. Adrenalin’s flowing in when you know you can be eliminated, so this isn’t as big for me.
“I like games that are decisive. We might play Barcelona in the Champions League, but in La Liga it’s a different way of understanding.
"After this game, no one will go home with the frustration of having lost the chance to win a big competition. There are so many matches left, but this is still a big game. I like that added pressure. I hope it’s not the last time I play against Barcelona. I hope to play more real Clasicos, for lots of years.”
But Mourinho neglects to mention the fevered hostility into which he is about to be plunged. No Barcelona supporter forgets or forgives the pain he has visited upon them since he left their employ 10 years ago as a humble translator.
Apparently, it was not enough that he should traduce Frank Rijkaard, their former manager, as trophy-less, or that he felt compelled to stage a provocative touchline knee-slide when Chelsea scored a late equaliser against them in 2006.
The rawest memories are of his crazed jig at the final whistle of Inter Milan’s Champions League semi-final win last season, at Barcelona’s expense.
This was beyond the pale, as goalkeeper Valdes sought aggressively to remind him as he danced across the pitch. On his return six months later at the helm of Real, the hated enemy, does he not fear the reception, even for his safety?
“I’ve been there with Chelsea, Inter, too,” he says, coolly. “Remember Chelsea against Barcelona. I expect the reception to be exactly the same.
" I hope we have the mentality where, even if we are losing, we still have the confidence to win, to keep our feet on the floor and continue to play. I don’t want to lose attitude or self-esteem. I am totally tranquilo.”
Mourinho might be best advised re-enacting his return to Chelsea in March, when he slipped out of the tunnel quietly, ahead of his players, to spend a few seconds in solitary splendour in the Stamford Bridge dugout. It signalled respect for his old club, while allowing photographers to capture the poignancy of the moment.
Such a tactic could take the edge off the ire among Barcelona’s ultras, understood to be preparing their most vitriolic welcome since they bombarded Luis Figo in 2002 with plastic bottles, golf balls and the infamous cabeza de cochinillo — the severed head of a suckling pig.
“It’s very special,” Mourinho admits, suppressing a smirk. “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t.” For a man confronting a tumultuous 48 hours, he appears remarkably serene.
After the brutal baptism of his first Clasico, he receives a verdict from Uefa tomorrow on charges of orchestrating the deliberate dismissals of Xabi Alonso and Sergio Ramos in last Tuesday’s Champions League at Ajax.
Beset by claims from Spanish commentators, and Arsène Wenger, that he has sullied Real’s traditions of honesty and integrity, he is less than popular this week.
“I know I’ll get a hostile reception. That’s just football. I beat them with Chelsea and Inter and now I’m coaching their rivals. That’s too much. But it’s the way it works. It will still be Tuesday the next day. There are all the conditions to be a great game — and that is what I want.
“I am worried about the team as always. I don’t change my way of working because it’s Barcelona or any other team. Barcelona are better than the others in the Spanish championship but we have to discover a solution to their great qualities.”
For the first time for a match outside the Premier League, the showpiece will be broadcast live on Sky in 3-D. The challenge for Messi and Ronaldo to unleash their full range of tricks is plain.
But if Mourinho is in menacing mood towards Barcelona, he at least had a conciliatory word for opposite number Pep Guardiola, about the only figure in Spanish football of whom he has not already made an enemy.
“He’s a club man, he knows every aspect of the club,” Mourinho says. “He’s the man Barcelona want. We used to work together there, and I think he’s the perfect man to coach them for as long as he wants.”
If his love affair at Real continues, we might soon be saying the same about Madrid and Mourinho.
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